Film Trailer

Thursday, January 17, 2008

“I need help immediately”

“I need help immediately” These are the words my sister wrote on the in house internet message board when we were pressed to find a live in caregiver for my Mother. Mom had undergone brain surgery to remove a malignant tumor at John’s Hopkins Hospital and I had spent 8 weeks in Baltimore with her while she worked hard on rehab.


My sister and I found an assisted living facility directly next to my Mother’s condo. High end with big support. We much of her beloved furniture of a lifetime into the small apartment she was assigned and spent two days with her there as she adjusted. She ate the rich food and interacted at the sing-alongs of old standards. We booked an evening nurse to stay with her in case she was disoriented in the night.


Finally we decided it was time for Mom to try it on her own. No night Nurse. We left with me saying” Mom, what do you do if you need anything?” and she responded “I press this!” indicating the emergency button necklace they had given her at the facility. We went home nervous but hopeful.


Giving Mom time in the morning to be gotten up, dressed and had breakfast, we went to her new “apt”. Opening the door to her apartment we found Mom collapsed on the floor lying on her back and fidgeting with her hands around her neck. I thought she was having a seizure. We jumped next to her, stroking her, telling her everything would be alright. I thought she might be having a stroke, but my sister said she was trying to push the emergency button. While dressing her, the morning staff had tucked it in her blouse and it was nowhere to be found. That was it. We said we were taking her back to her own home.


We needed help immediately. We got it when luck and the universe merged into harmony with our family. Someone responded to my sister’s plea at school. They knew a great woman who had taken care of a friend’s parent. She worked for an agency. When we called them we found she had been booked into another job but wanted to live in, she could be available that night. We got Mom home now disoriented and thinking she had a condo in the same building but on a different floor. That night Pita arrived. She changed all of our lives. The care, love commitment and humor she gave over the last seven months of my Mom’s life allowed us confidence and a chance for Mom to live as fully and comfortably as was possible. She became our family and the love affair between my Mom and Pita flourished. I moved back to Virginia for the better part of the seven month’s and got to witness, help and enjoy Mom’s life.


I tell the story because this experience even more so demonstrated to me the importance that good caregiving can bring to a patient and a family in the most difficult and important time in their lives. I’m very happy to announce that the second charity that will benefit at the premiere for Dying to Live on March 13 is The Los Angeles Caregivers resource Center. Their commitment to educating and supporting caregivers is a big asset to the community at large and we are hoping to broaden the awareness of this important organization.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Some good news.

Some good news. The Mesothelioma Applied Research Foundation (MARF) is going to be one of the charities that the premiere of Dying to Live will benefit March 13 at the Laemmle Music Hall Theater in Beverly Hills. It’s important for me to be extending the mission of the film in helping to find a cure for the disease that Valerie died from. She continues to inspire me.


MARF has gotten the highest rating from The Charity Navigator which means MARF makes the highest percentage of money donated available for research. It is for both mainstream and alternative treatment. We had experiences on all levels of treatment, mainstream chemo, alternative blood product therapy in the Bahamas and experimental treatments of medications right near the very end of her life.


I’ m glad to be getting things in motion. I want to hear the conversations that follow screenings.


A friend of mine told me that the film changed his awareness to the needs of a pal who was laid up in hospital with an unknown ailment. My friend wound up going to see him everyday. Just to be there.


I’m hearing that I do pretty well on the internet for my age. Who knows? Recently I felt like I discovered a new world when I found a large resource site for Volunteerism while researching appropriate charities for the film. There are lots of people committed to making a difference.


My experience was not different than anybody else’s. I just happened to have a camera turned on. In making the film, all I was trying to do was tell the truth about what happened to me and make sense of the path it led me down. But mostly to face the truth. It’s freeing me. I hope some folks will write some of their experiences here….