CONTINUING ON THE TRIP TO BRUSSELS

12/22/07

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But it was with my Mom, at 88, independent and full of life, who suddenly collapsed one day with a malignant brain tumor, where all of my adult growth came together. As my sister and I knew from her directives, we had surgery to remove her tumor at John’s Hopkins Hospital. She rehabbed there and was brought back to her own home, miraculously finding a committed Philippine caregiver named Pita to stay with her. I spent the majority of eight months back in Virginia assisting in her care with my sister. Spending day after day doing the simplest things with my mother. Reading the paper, re-teaching this bridge whiz how to play cards again. I did the food shopping in suburban supermarkets specializing in promotions getting 10 for $10. 10 for 10 became my mantra. I took her to most of her radiation and chemo treatments and to see her doctors. I was lucky to be able to be there.

My mom and I had our own joke that we shared every day. We’d drive from Mclean to the hospital in Arlington for her radiation treatment and I would get Mom out of the car and into the lobby of the hospital in her wheel chair. I’d wheel her to a quiet spot to wait for me while I went to park the car. As I turned to go back out I would look back in her wheelchair and say to her with pointed finger “And remember….” and Mom would cut me off responding “Don’t go anywhere!” She got it. These were great gifts to me. Learning what was demanded of husbands and sons and being able to deliver. Not perfectly but with care. The great luck was that I had the time and means to be there for those I loved. Lucky for them and for me.

This is where I am now: the movie is finished and we’re looking to align the project with two charities that can make a difference in the lives of folks not as lucky. People who have to work full time jobs, have dependents, can’t get off for the time they need to hold the hands of loved ones at the end of their lives. People who want to just be there when it counts, to calm and reassure during difficult times. This is becoming my extended mission now. For one I want to aid in finding a cure for Mesothelioma, the disease that took Valerie from me, but I also want to help a hands-on group that will make a difference in important lives as they near their end.